Trust me, I'm being gracious...

Its been a while since I last wrote.  Alot has happened, and yet at the same time, it appears that the circumstances have not really shifted all that much.  In cases like that I prefer not to write, because it can be born of a sense of frustration or perhaps wanting to send a subliminal message, which isn't for me.

But today I write with the full intention of sending a message.

So lets just have at it...

IT IS SOOOOOO EASY TO BE THE CRITIC!

More than that it is down right cowardly.

You couch it as the victim, you couch it as sharing an unthought of perspective.

You let your friends and family down with your easily spoken, not so easily retracted sentiments that lack an ounce of grace.

You need a swift kick in the pants!

You are so caught up in your own story line that you've become self absorbed.

WOE. IS. ME.

Someone has needed to say this, and I am so surprised they haven't... but I'm starting to feel better for it.

Have you considered for one minute the demons others are fighting?  You and your sheltered existence need to remember the hurts that daily are carried by others.

Well the reality is, I could go on and on.  But I have to stop myself.  What I wrote needed to be said, but it also needs to be followed by this.

Please, remember grace.  Please remember to act out of love, and not love for self.
I know you're tired.  The circumstances are extenuating, but it's time to stop using them as an excuse.
Get back to what you love and who you love.  And then, dang it, get after the potential you are meant to live for!
Again... live and give grace.  Remember your best, but when you don't succeed, or when people let you down... please go to grace.  Be inspired by the best in life, but don't fall into perfectionism from yourself or others.  Perfectionism is a form of legalism and it's not life giving.

Now some may be wondering... man, what set her off?  Who is she talking about?  And a few of you may just be thinking you know who I'm talking about.

That's right, if you said her name is Amanda Keeter.

Sometime grace comes in the form of a swift kick in the pants.  For me, I've been challenged, but have let those challenges take the reins on my outlook.  I'm so thankful that God isn't done shaping me. (You have to watch this video for more on that).  Its been painful this year to understand the need for grace, often out of my own shortcomings.  To learn self-discipline, but often kicking and scraping my nails as I'm dragged into new habits that actually shape me into a better person.  Grace means giving up control.  Grace means giving up perfection.  Grace isn't just something I must extend to others, sometimes its hardest to extend it to yourself... myself.

I write this and share it openly only to encourage... I needed to call myself out.  Its time to be the better me, and accept my challenges, own them, and then just give it my best and find contentment in that.  Not to be afraid of the outcome, and then not trying so there's an excuse of why I didn't live up to my expectations.  My potential will be what I make of it, and not something I could have done.  Most of all, I have to give it all to the Lord.  To see with His eyes.  To trust His outcome.  Seek His greatness in others, in what I do, in who I am.

It's time to stop the insanity.  Its time to stop doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.  Stop buying into the lies.  God doesn't make junk. Its time to accept His image of others and His image of me.  Now that's grace.

Fiasco a Picasso?

Sometimes you just have those days... if its not one thing its another.  You know you have had enough of those days if measuring time moves away from dates to its relativity to one life event or another.  It can make you develop callouses or a sense of humor.  Sometimes a little of both for good measure.

There are times when you feel like you're waking up and you've found yourself within the plotline of an old Bill Murray movie, Groundhogs Day.  Maybe today you wake up and find yourself again in Punxsutawney questioning..."this again?"  I thought we've been here, done that, got the t-shirt, milked it for all its worth and yet... here we are again.  You question if God has a certain pleasure for the ironic or if you are just stupid enough to have somehow gotten back on this merry-go-round or if there is some stone unturned in the spiritual journey that He REALLY wants you to learn and somehow you've missed it.

Somehow I know I'm not the only one who can be experiencing these things, but they have a relative way of creating isolation, anger, frustration, stupidity or even an embrace of abiding in a sense of long-suffering.

Out of my own carnival of sorts, I have come to a greater perception of the power of grace.  In many cases it is when I feel hurt that grace kicks in as a tool I didn't know I had.  One that not only demands it for my own life, but a calling to extend it.  When we rightfully feel a call for vindication, we are given the accompanying power to utilize grace.

Sometimes, I'll be honest, I'm looking at what appears to be a total fiasco.  I know grace should abound here, but I can't see where it can grow, where it will come from, or even the right words to give it.  Its there where I start to see the fruits of the spirit emerge from depths I cannot contain nor previously owned.  The lens of kindness helps me to see, the spirit of patience stills the waters of my soul.  Gentleness guides my words.  Do they come out perfect?  I gave up on perfection in the effort just to try.  Hopefully grace abounds and my efforts that could always use more polishing will come across palatable and sculpt the messiness of who I am into the art of reflecting Him.  It may not be a point for point rendering, but if it resembles Picasso, I'll take it.