Sometimes you just have those days... if its not one thing its another. You know you have had enough of those days if measuring time moves away from dates to its relativity to one life event or another. It can make you develop callouses or a sense of humor. Sometimes a little of both for good measure.
There are times when you feel like you're waking up and you've found yourself within the plotline of an old Bill Murray movie, Groundhogs Day. Maybe today you wake up and find yourself again in Punxsutawney questioning..."this again?" I thought we've been here, done that, got the t-shirt, milked it for all its worth and yet... here we are again. You question if God has a certain pleasure for the ironic or if you are just stupid enough to have somehow gotten back on this merry-go-round or if there is some stone unturned in the spiritual journey that He REALLY wants you to learn and somehow you've missed it.
Somehow I know I'm not the only one who can be experiencing these things, but they have a relative way of creating isolation, anger, frustration, stupidity or even an embrace of abiding in a sense of long-suffering.
Out of my own carnival of sorts, I have come to a greater perception of the power of grace. In many cases it is when I feel hurt that grace kicks in as a tool I didn't know I had. One that not only demands it for my own life, but a calling to extend it. When we rightfully feel a call for vindication, we are given the accompanying power to utilize grace.
Sometimes, I'll be honest, I'm looking at what appears to be a total fiasco. I know grace should abound here, but I can't see where it can grow, where it will come from, or even the right words to give it. Its there where I start to see the fruits of the spirit emerge from depths I cannot contain nor previously owned. The lens of kindness helps me to see, the spirit of patience stills the waters of my soul. Gentleness guides my words. Do they come out perfect? I gave up on perfection in the effort just to try. Hopefully grace abounds and my efforts that could always use more polishing will come across palatable and sculpt the messiness of who I am into the art of reflecting Him. It may not be a point for point rendering, but if it resembles Picasso, I'll take it.
